What is self-compassion and why is it so important?
Self-Compassion means being kind and supportive to ourselves as we would be towards a friend. This is especially important when we are struggling in life.
Self-Compassion is important because it’s healthier to respond to ourselves in a kind and caring way than to be constantly critical of ourselves which causes us so much stress and anxiety.
Practising self-compassion sounds an easy concept but the reality of actually doing this can be challenging.
This is because many of us are conditioned to be critical of ourselves.
This often comes from our upbringing, society pressures and past experiences.
We learn to focus on our flaws not realising that these are part of what it means to be human.
We find ourselves in a cycle of self-judgement with a long list of “I shoulds” alongside comparing ourselves to others, making us feel inadequate.
This can leave us feeling that we are only deserving of compassion through perfection and achievement.
To add to this we may also have internalised negative beliefs that compassion for ourselves is a sign of weakness or a self indulgence.
This can prevent us from giving compassion to ourselves that we readily give to others.
If we can find the courage to face our pain and struggles instead of avoiding them - this I know can be uncomfortable, and allow ourselves to acknowledge our imperfections without shame or self-criticism, we can heal and change how we think and feel about ourselves.
I know it takes practice, time and patience to shift our mindset from negative self-talk to self-soothing self-talk but being gentle with yourself in moments of difficulty will help you to recognise that you like everyone else are also deserving of care and compassion
The next time you find yourself being unkind to yourself try changing your negative self-talk
From “I am a failure” To “I made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes and I can learn from this”
From “I’m not good enough." To "I’m doing my best, and it’s okay to not be perfect. I’m worthy of love and kindness, just as I am."
From “I’ll never be able to do this” To "This is hard, but I have faced challenges before and grown from them. I can take this one step at a time."
Notice when you are being hard on yourself, pause, take a breath and then answer by thinking about what you can say to support yourself in the difficultly you are facing.
If you find this too hard start by thinking about what you would say to a friend if they were struggling like you are now.
Practising self-compassion can improve mental well-being, reduce stress, and foster a more balanced, positive mindset.
Counselling can help you to understand the reasons why you are critical of yourself and help you to find ways to move towards a more compassionate response when you are struggling with the challenges that life brings
If you feel counselling could help you please contact me:.
karenwelchcounselling.co.uk 07889374881