Many of us have been conditioned to feel an overwhelming sense of shame when we make a mistake. Shame is a tough emotion to sit with and to work through. It can make us feel defensive and shutdown where we avoid making amends because it feels less painful, easier or safer and so the pattern continues. It doesn’t become easier in the long term because we feel more shame for not putting things right which adds to the shame we already carry and so the pattern continues.

Think of mistakes as part of the journey of life and acknowledge that we all make them. Perfection doesn’t exist! Making mistakes in life doesn't mean we always have to pay for them for the rest of our lives. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn't mean you’re bad it means you are human.

Approach your mistakes by first taking ownership of them. This can feel hard because of the shame aspect but persevere and sit with it. Shame is a feeling, tell yourself you are safe and it can’t hurt you. Remind yourself it takes courage to own our mistakes and motivation to put things right and this in itself is a learning process.

Remember to be kind to yourself as you try to work it all out. If you get things wrong and it takes you a while to put things right just keep going, keep working on it. You will get there and it will be worth it!

Therapy is a meaningful and supportive way to help you through this process.

karenwelchcounselling.co.uk